In this column I explore personal questions with a fellow student. I am no way a medical consultant nor a therapist; I’m just a kid.

For the purpose of anonymity, the interviewee will be called Alice.
Alice: To be honest, I don’t think I’m being the person I know I really am.
Colin: Ok… so how come you're not being the person you KNOW you are?
Alice: I guess it’s because I want people to just accept me, and it’s not really cause I want to be popular or anything, I’d just rather get through with high school with the least amount of stress possible, and I think a lot of school related stress DOES come from having to fit in.
Colin: Why don’t you think people will accept you if you just act the way you believe you really are?
Alice: Well it’s not that I don’t think they would accept me, it’s more that I’d rather just go with the flow than really “set free” the real me. I mean of course I’m slowly going to gain originality and my own voice/ideas/style, I’d just rather float with the group for now.
Colin: Okay, well is there a certain date or time you’re waiting for to do this? Also, don’t you think it’s kind of risky to wait until people are accustomed to you and then just slowly change? In my opinion that just sets you up for an experience you were trying to avoid, because people will think you’re posing or something, but who knows really.
Alice: Yeah I’ve thought about that a lot actually…
Colin: And?
Alice: I don’t really know what to say.
Colin: Okay, well do you at least feel content being someone who you think you’re not?
Alice: I don’t feel bad about it or anything, although I apparently should.

My follow-up advice to Alice is to be the person who you know you are, but if you find it easier to be someone who you think will be accepted, be that person if you want to. Eventually you’re going to have to change into the real you and prolonging this metamorphasis may make the ending result a bit harder to get, but as long as you “know what you’re doing,” then anything is fine. Maybe you could gradually add your originality into the mix as the high school years go by, so when you’re a senior you’ll be who you know you are.

This article originally appeared in the February 2010 issue.